Talking men's health with Jason and Anthony

Catherine: Men don't talk, we're told. And stats show men are less likely to speak to family and friends about mental health issues and are around half as likely as women to access psychological therapies. Why do you think this is?

Anthony: It’s just in us not to speak. Also, there can be a lack of services for men.

Jason: It’s the bravado of it, the 'I can deal with anything' kind of thing. 'Man up' - there’s even a name for it! Then guys end up right on the edge… And when I think about it, if my daughter hurts herself, I ask, “Ah, are you OK?' - I'm comforting. I’m probably more ‘get up and carry on’ with my son. And I do question that sometimes; would I have handled that differently if it had been my daughter? So, it can be there right from the start.

Anthony: I spoke to my GP regarding mental health services. I had an assessment and the service they had initially referred me to then signposted me to a different service for men. This one had an online assessment process, and, to be honest, I then gave up. It seemed like a barrier. It felt like I was the wrong sex to receive support.

Jason: That’s horrendous. I wonder if it’s because men don’t access that kind of service as much?

Catherine: Do you think things are changing?

Anthony: Yes, guys are talking a bit more.

Jason: Although, I do think things have been a bit weird since lockdown. People are not as outgoing as they used to be. It’s taken ages, really, to feel like things are getting back to normal.

Catherine: What could encourage men to talk and open up more?

Anthony: There’s no denying guys don’t open up as much.

Jason: In a group situation, you probably wouldn’t. If you are 1-1 with a friend, you might. But especially if someone else says it first! My mates who have opened up, it has always been after a few beers, when others have left and it is just the two of us. I have asked the question, “Are you OK?” and then it all comes out. But this scenario can’t always apply, and it shouldn’t take a few beers to get to that place of openness, really.

Anthony: Things are better than they were years ago. Back then, you wouldn’t talk about emotions or problems at all.

Jason: As a Wellbeing Champion at Progress, I have offered a listening ear and supported those struggling. Individuals have not approached me, though. I have picked up on tone of voice and demeanour and then reached out, and it has been appreciated.

Anthony: We are here as Wellbeing Champions to be that touch point, but we want colleagues to be more aware that we are here and what we can do to offer help and support in our role as Wellbeing Champions. So, talking like this will help.

Catherine: Here are some other stats to consider:

• Men are nearly twice as likely as women to die prematurely from diabetes
• Amongst people working full-time, 37% of men had seen their GP in the past three months compared to 53% of women
• Men are 67% more likely to die from the common cancers that affect both men and women.

Catherine: What are your thoughts on this?

Jason: Again, it’s the ‘man up’ thing.

Anthony: A case of ‘I’ll be OK, I’ll get through this’.

Jason: My missus goes mad at me, my back has been bothering me and I use Voltarol and carry on. She’s like ‘have you not made an appointment with the GP yet?!” For some reason, you just don’t prioritise it; I think, ‘Oh, I’ll give it another week’. One of my best friend’s dad died at 48. He’d been having really bad headaches; he took paracetamol and just kept going, ignored it. He died of a brain haemorrhage.

Anthony: Guys can be good at just ignoring things. Like, they don’t want to hear bad news.

Jason: It feels like women are more in the system for regular screening and checks. I can’t remember the last time I went to the GP.

Catherine: So, what is one piece of advice you would share for Men’s Health Awareness Week, International Men's Health Month, and beyond?

Jason: Speak up.

Anthony: Yes, just that. Talk.

A huge thanks to Jason and Anthony for speaking with us.

Just talk. The Men’s Health Forum agrees. They note, “We need to share our stories.”

At Progress Housing Group, our Wellbeing Champions are offering out purchased copies of The Man Manual – Men’s Health Made Easy.

Produced by the Men’s Health Forum and highly commended by the British Medical Association, this 36-page booklet is full of simple, practical tips to improve your health, including how to be good to your heart, how to get active and how to handle the ups and downs.

About our Wellbeing Champions

Progress Housing Group's Wellbeing Champions are volunteers from across the Group who have stepped forward to use their experience, training and support to positively impact health and wellbeing in the workplace.

Mental health First-Aid trained, they act as first point of contact for a fellow colleague who is experiencing emotional distress or a mental health issue.

The role of the Wellbeing Champion is to listen, have an initial conversation and support the individual to get appropriate help, as well as inspire and motivate colleagues to enjoy happier, healthier lives and contribute to the Group's wider health and wellbeing plans.